Rewire Your Brain for Happiness

debhartman1@gmail.com
November 14, 2018

Rewire Your Brain for Happiness

Channel happiness when things break

Laundry was piling up. The washing machine was broken. Every other day, I watched a fix-it-yourself video, to see if any tips might surface. I unplugged it, searched for clogs, no luck.

The washer’s diagnosis came two weeks after the machine quit. A technician tried to bring my 18-year-old washer back to life. He made a phone call to check on a specific electrical part – no luck. My washer was dead. It was not a good time for an unforeseen expense.

I flipped through the washer manual to try to find the exact size a new machine would need to be. Then I felt worse. The manual displayed many fancy features I never used or understood. I rarely bothered with fabric softener or bleach, the settings were unchanged since purchase. I was unable to rewire my washing machine, and I was also a terrible and uninterested appliance mom.

Journaling through the problem

Fortunately the washer manual offered small illustrations, inspiring this rough sketch of my faithful friend crossing the appliance rainbow bridge. I sketched slowly in my journal, thinking of all the loads of wash over the years. I thought of the matching dryer, still going strong, without its mate.

My washer had a good long life. It never complained after a fancy laundry room gave way to first an unfinished basement and then a dark utility room after life changes resulted in three moves.

I finished the sketch and decided to check for sales on new washing machines. Happiness was probably right around the corner in a big box store, right?

Challenge or crises? Keep happiness in perspective

Just as I started down the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ familiar checklist “The Five Stages of Grief” modified for the very minor life problem of replacing a washing machine, an image on my screen caught my eye.

It was an aerial view of what remains of Paradise, California after the Camp Fire destroyed the town. The fire, when I checked, was just 35% contained and the death toll was rising. Thousands of homes and businesses were lost. For the the injured and displaced, lost washing machines were hardly a concern.

As they fled the fire, Californians were assisted by their brains’ “fight, flight or freeze (FFF)” survival skills. What happens when all three responses might be the wrong choice?

The brain rapidly springs into action to help the body manage acute stress and make decisions.

The amygdala (the brain’s sentry) assesses the danger and sends a red alert to the hypothalamus (the brain’s air traffic controller). If the threat is determined to be real, the hypothalamus takes the controls.

The brain’s rapid response team

The amygdala and hypothalamus jump-start the sympathetic nervous system:

Adrenaline flows
Blood pressure increases, blood surges to the muscles for added strength and speed
Breath quickens
Bodily functions not needed in the moment shut down
Cortisol, “the stress hormone” enters the blood stream
Skin becomes pale or sweaty
Pupils dilate to focus on threat
When the threat passes, the parasympathetic nervous system slows the heart rate, lowers blood pressure and breathing rate, and returns the body to equilibrium. The vagus nerve reconnects functions that were suspended during the sudden fear event.

Chronic stress, anxiety and unhappiness

There’s a big difference between running from a wildfire and replacing a broken washing machine. I overreacted to my problem. Or did I?

The washing machine was just the latest in a string of costly home and auto repairs. Obviously the universe was picking on me. It wanted me to go broke! It wanted me to take time off work to schedule a repair person. It wanted me to get in an argument with my spouse about what to do next.

One more broken appliance seemed like the last straw – I was allowing annoying but common experiences to stack up and produce low-grade, chronic stress. My happiness and financial well-being felt threatened. Anxiety and worry were taking over. How could I afford another repair? My situation was not life threatening, but I was pumping cortisol by reacting defensively.

Change things up: 6 tips to start rewiring your brain

Our unique brains have neuroplasticity, or the “ability to adapt” to change. Nothing in the brain is set in stone
Much like our abdominal muscles, the brain can be strengthened through daily exercise to protect us from debilitating chronic stress. Treat rewiring your brain as a home gym in your head
Rewiring our brains for happiness takes time and attention to new healthy self-care habits. Plan to spend at least 30 days on the project
Be kind to yourself along the way as you rewire your brain – plan for treats and reward yourself for progress
Like most projects with a measurable outcomes, it’s best to start with a goal, and a list, and a guide
Find a few mentors who rewired their brains and follow their examples

2 amazing people who rewired their brains

Nicole Apelian, super hero

Nicole Apelian

Deep in the woods outside Raymond, Washington, Dr. Nicole Apelian is running an eco-tourism business, leading seminars, raising a son, holding classes on wilderness skills, participating as a challenger in the History Channel’s TV series “Alone” and running an herbal apothocary as a side business. Her catalyst? Multiple Sclerosis.

When she was diagnosed with MS as a young woman in 2000, she made the bold decision to deploy her natural strength and positivity to go beyond surviving to thriving.

Armed with her doctorate degree in Cultural Anthropology, she worked as a field biologist in Botswana and fell in love with African peoples and landscapes. Each year of her life brought amazing adventures and opportunities.

Nicole’s amazing story inspires me, and gives me a true, brave spirit to emulate.

In her blog post “Ask Dr. Nicole: How do you manage your Multiple Sclerosis?” she provides a detailed list of exactly how she rewired her own brain to manifest her abundant, big life.

Danny Raede, changing the face of autism

The young man on the stage delivered his keynote speech confidently at a conference attended by over 300 people. Danny is the CEO of Asperger Experts, a transformational media company based out of Seattle, Washington.

He is also the Director of Acceptance, a nature-based retreat center and campground just outside Centralia, WA.

Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at age 12, Raede embraces his neurodiversity and is emerging as a nationally known and respected expert, motivator and entrepreneur in the autism community.

“I spent many years very ill, going from doctor to doctor and being the “perfect patient,” Raede writes. “I did everything they suggested and took EVERY medication that was prescribed up until my kidneys gave out. I was taking upwards of 20 medications a day. I realized I was spending a fortune and repeating the same treatments over and over without relief. It was at that point I chose to start taking responsibility for this body I am in and realized I needed to advocate for myself,”

Raede began his journey to rewire his unique brain and move forward into health. He started with a detailed list. The first step was brainstorming and getting to the “why” of what’s not working. An organized list became the key to finding the resources and methods to activate his game plan. The last step was holding himself accountable for working the plan.

Today Danny is known around the world in the autism community. He has nearly 300,000 Facebook followers, a thriving company and big dreams for the autism retreat camp he is helping to launch. Danny has a big life, and he still takes time for tacos and Disneyworld. Danny rewired his own brain for health – and happiness.